I haven't really written in forever because I know that nobody really reads this anymore. So I don't see much of a point for posting. I guess I haven't posted much because I'm sick of putting up pity posts and I know this will probably turn into one.
I miss Seth...
Ever have a bad day that just turns worse and worse? Welcome to last night of my life and the last couple of days. But it makes me wonder if they are bad because I let them be or because they actually are. Maybe it's a little of both because, I mean, I can control what makes me my day bad but I can't control what happens.
I didn't ever want to meet her...she's so pretty and I'm not.
I've been dreaming more then I ever have and they are sucky dreams. They aren't those fun, creative, so far out there dreams. They are the realistic ones were stuff happens that could actually happen...well more like the things my mind wishes would happen.
And I know what they say
About all good things
Will they come to an end
But I'll fight this time
So that we might
Have a chance at this
I just want to wake up with our arms around me.
Wouldn't that be great if you actually fought for things and it worked? That if you worked hard enough every would work out in the end. I feel myself letting everyone go because of fear. I don't want to be doing it but I just don't trust people and I'm sick of hearing "but I'm not like that" or "I promise I won't ever leave". Because I'm sick of being lied to because it's human natural at this age not to stick around for people.
Del, I need to see you love me...show me...please. Don't leave me...
Oh well. I guess that's life. And I've got a million things to do today so I should probably get started on that....maybe.
I hate myself so I'm running from you. Fight for me, please.
3 comments:
Keep posting!
peace,
KABK
p.s. hyper
I don't know who you're talking about, but you're as pretty as she is, whoever she is.
We're always waiting for people to give us a sign that they love us, really love us. But think of all the times Del has proven that he really does love you? Think of all the things he's said. He's given you a thousand signs that he loves you and won't leave you, so try to remember that when you're feeling doubtful.
I may not comment all the time, or get on aim as much as I want to but I read this daily and miss you soo freakin much.
Love you, keep posting
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