I have this horrible feeling in my stomach and I don't know why. Del and I hang out yesterday since him and Max are fighting he uses me to fill the empty space by talking to me all the time. I did realize how much I actually missed him until he came back around. I'm trying really hard not to get used to it because the minute I do he'll disappear again like he always does. We talked about yesterday about everything and I have never seen him get so upset about something as he did. I sat there quietly driving because I couldn't find the right words to say and I didn't know how to fix him. It made me sad.
"We all hide secrets. I hide stuff from you."
"There is a lot I haven't told you."
"Maybe one day we'll talk about it."
I keep having that dream over and over, along with the old one I used to have. It's just starting to make me feel terrible and confused. I just want to know what it means. I passed him driving after I dropped Del off at his house and I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I guess because it reminded me of when he broke up. I don't know, I can't keep my thoughts straight and I feel all jumbled. I just wish things were easier in life sometimes. I'm probably just over thinking like I always do but the dream is so real it's creepy. I wake up so tired everyday after having both of those dreams. Last night I woke up crying after the second one. What is wrong with me?
I'm supposed to do a lot this weekend but I'm not exactly sure how. I need to do shopping for Max's birthday, finish VHS, go to the wrestling tournament, do the rest of my homework, hang out with Del (which should be nice since boyfriend is busy all weekend), work on choreography, starting working out again, stop eating so much food.
Blah life is boring me. I need an adventure.
Hmm...I'll talk with Del.
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