The Only Problem Is That You Was Using Me In A Different Way That I Was Using You.

I hate myself for how much I still allow you to affect me.
I can't get Christmas out of my head.
I'm running but the pain won't leave my heart.
I'm beating my body till I can't move to prove you wrong.
The blue bottle in my closet is calling my name.
I so badly want to down those white drops with that blue bottle.
I want to sleep without you stealing my dreams.
I'm craving to watch that red circle down the drain.
I need to fill my lungs till they close up tight.

That's the old girl that you used to control.
So I'm sticking my middle finger in the air at you.
I'm walking away from all of it and running into those arms that you always hated me being in.
He might not be perfect but he sure as hell loves me more than you ever did.
So I hope you are happy with the girl who used to judge you and laugh at your miserable past. The exact same past that I never left you in alone, the past I fought for you...the reason you have a future.

And don't say he is using me because he never used me as bad as you did.

And he never threw away the pain, tears, and love I put forward for him.