Today is cloudy and cold, which is probably why I feel so depressed. I got my new lamp but haven't been able to figure out shit about it. Seriously it's a complicated lamp. I read through my old blog which made me cry some thinking about all the pain I caused people but then I found a couple old posts about Del. Some of the stupid things we have done or the times he has been my superhero. It for some reason made my heart really warm. I guess I never show during those dark days how much I was actually loved. At least Del and I are closer now, kinda like back when we were first friends. I don't know...just makes life seem easier. School is such frustrating right now because a) I'm in the college of my dreams so motivation for school is at an all time low. b) I just want winter break to be here! Oh damn I just thought about New Year...guess it will be a lot different this year. I don't know, maybe I'll get the strength to ask him to hang out with me though I will in the end only be rejected. It's weird even when I know it's going to happen it still seems to hurt. Oh well, sometimes I'm such an idiot. My head hurts from looking at this stupid computer screen. I can't wait for this class to be over! I think I did my AP English homework wrong which could turn out to be a major problem. Blah! Now I'm just ranting because I have nothing better to do. Christmas show (of evilness) is finally over! Which is good because I need classes to go back to normal because I'm starting to get really out of shape. I need to work out more...well first find the motivation to work out more. Lame! 25 minutes left in class. Shit I have a calculus quiz today that I have no idea what it's on...that could turn into a problem. Oh well I'm going to go check my English homework...or something. Man am I spacey today.
"Hey!"
"What?!"
"Love you. And I mean it."
-sighs-"I know. Now get out of my car."
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