If Roses Are Meant To Be Red And Violets To Be Blue, Why Isn't My Heart Meant For You?

Thank God it's finally Friday. Once again I'm not going to do any work in my online class that I already have an A in. Sooo I'm here, bored out of my mind. (P.S I swear if Court uses that song for lyrical I might cry every time.) It's that time of year when the weather changes and my depression comes rolling in like a snow storm. Ick. Let me just say that choreographing my senior piece isn't helping anything. I cry every time I hear the song and think about the meaning behind, let alone it could be one of the last times that Max and I dance together. (Please try to be there this year, part of my dance is for you.) But all around life is pretty good, at least with Lemon and Max around.

I'm not talking to Del...well at least I'm trying because this time I'm going to stay mad at him. Though I'm still secretly planning his birthday. Just because I love him too much not to do anything for his birthday. Damn me and loving him. XD

My brother left for Japan Tuesday. I'm having a really rough time dealing with it. Today Emse was the first to ask how I'm handling him being gone because I am wearing his sweatshirt. I admitted I miss him which normally I wouldn't and just pretend I was fine. I decided not to because I do really miss him.

November is creeping up fast and it's scaring me. Every time I think about it my stomach flips and my head spins. It scares me more with my brother being gone and Del and I not talking. Everything seems similar to last year...I don't want it to be. At least I got Max beside me, a lot closer than last year, and she is eying me like a small child near a fire. Makes me feel loved.

I swear my mom has been taking by aliens, besides the fact that she pretty much gives me the car whenever. And has suddenly changed her mind about driving to school being stupid. She now has decided to create a bargain with my insurance. Now the deal is if I get A's and B's my parents pay for 75% of my insurance, so basically leaving me with only having to pay...hmmm...$125. If I get C's it drops to 50% and if I either get two C's or a D it's 25%. I would like to say but I think thats a damn good deal. Okay maybe I only think that now because I'm doing good in school but still. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MOM!?

I listened to the Saga the other day while driving. I was surprised at how well I handled it. I mean you might still hate me but damn do you have good music. Hmmm speaking of music I need to new music. Why do I have to choose now to be mad at Del. Damn my bad timing.

My mind is starting to get really jumpy so means it's about time for me to get off. Hahaha.

N.I.B: I missed you the other day...it was weird.
Del: Stop being an ass so I can talk to you. Well stop being the only person I can be mad at so I can stop being mad at you.

And so is life.

Peace, Love.
Baby M. :)