I walked into Staples and started crying. Max grabbed my hand. I didn't want to shop for school. I didn't want to admit to myself that life is flying by so fast. I felt like I was losing control. But Max was right there to find me that I had the Musketeers and senior year didn't mean a thing. She picked out all my notebooks, pens, pencils, planner. I just held all of it in my arms. "And one black one because you only get to be a little emo this year." -wink-
I cried telling my dad about it too. How Del keeps talking about turning 18. 18?! His not allowed to be that old. I still think of the dorky, little 8th grader with black rim glasses and that green Hurley shirt. The boy that reached out to me because I was the new kid. "I just thought you didn't know anything about me. So maybe you could learn to see me the way I am, instead of what people see." Isn't it funny? That's exactly how I see him.
I feel like a year of my life was stolen away from me. I don't feel like I have only one year left. I just want to be little again. I don't want to be planning for college. I don't want to leave Max. I don't want to leave Del.
"When the hell did you date him?!"
"End of freshman year."
"Jesus! That was forever ago."
Made me kinda chuckle. He is right but then I thought of all him and I went through. All those smiles, all my tears, all his hugs....just everything.
...Damn it why do I always have to act like the baby...wait maybe because I am.
Sighs. I'm not ready for senior year but with them...I think I'll make it.
Peace, Love.
-Baby M.
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