It's funny how it takes me longer to realize why you picked songs for us, maybe a couple of years. Now I finally get this one. "I swear usually nobody comes down this road." Hahaha! The memories there...yep they are pretty good. I'm proud of myself being able to think of those things and just laugh and be happy about them. No my more pain, no my tears, just memories that will never fade. Oh god the mud that covered my clothes was ridiculous. And stating this for everyone I was not the reason your shirt got ripped.
Senior year kinda starts today, well I mean the whole registration thing then basically just have to completely it. I remember last year I was so ready to leave this town. Run away and never look back but those damn lovable assholes just had to come into my life. Now my heart is being pulled back while I'm running. Though the weird thing is they are the ones that believe in me the most and are pushing me away...I mean in a good way.
This may never start.
We could fall apart
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?
Thats how I feel sometimes still. With senior year coming up I feel it more. I just don't want to be forgotten. I hope I have done enough to make someone remember me for at least something, something good preferably. I know I'm the kind of person who doesn't forget a single day, good or bad. Which Del makes fun of me all the time for but thats not the point. I can remember all those times from 8th grade to now. Yea some of them suck to remember but I refuse to let any little memory slip. Maybe that's just a fear, being forgotten. Please don't forget me.
Annie moves out this weekend and I'm really sad about it. I had gotten used to her being around the house all the time. It was very much like having a sister. I actually really love staying up till 11 waiting for her to get home from her night shift. Sitting around the kitchen eating ice cream and talking about everything. I hope she visits a lot next year because it's going to be so quiet without her.
Now for the funny stupidity of me. Yesterday I decided I looked really gross and didn't want to see myself. (Don't get on me about how I look, I know. So hush.) Max keep telling me I was being stupid and maybe if I learned to sleep I would actually look okay. I got up and grabbed a bunch of tissue paper and covered all the mirrors in my room. Max just sat there laughing and didn't argue with my weirdness. Now I refuse to take them down. Haha. I'm a weirdo I know.
"I feel like you'll relate to this song really well."
And he was right...of course. I'm starting to get a little sick of it.
I'm taking, taking all of my time
I'm dodging words, but she's saying the right lines
She made me, made me oh so crazy
But this time I feel like I'm doing something right
It made me sick to think about
Everything you put me through and how you left without
(Saying goodbye) And if it's really over now
Then you can walk away and it would be the last time
This is the end
Of you and me
And everything I used to be
Back then it meant something
But you're living a lie, you just can't hide from me
You had me hanging on your last word
And now I'm feeling a little less than trusting
You had me wishing we were something
But left me here with a whole lot of nothing now
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