"You'll be okay, I promise."

There I stood once again taking painful words from you. I tried to explain my heart, I tried explaining how sorry I was that I can fuck even when I'm not in your life. I don't want to hurt you but do you even see the pain you cause me. Have you asked Max how many nights I have cried about this pain? Have you even looked? So don't even say this is me trying to hurt you because I'm just trying to live happily without and guess what? It's not working. You wouldn't even look at me and do you know how that hurt? Do you even know what I saw in your eyes when you finally looked? You hated me. With every pieces of you, you hated me and made me break. Every little piece of me broke into a million pieces. Thats why I walked away. My heart couldn't take it.

Before I could even look I was in Kana's arms and she was rushing me out of the school. Running to the car but I saw Max and raced to her arms. I don't even know if she could understand what I was saying but she held me and whispered those words.

I didn't want to go into J's looking the way I did. People standing around, I tried breathing. I tried faking okay but then Kana said something and I feel apart. "Tim is working." The minute he saw my stained face and red eyes he came rushing out with open arms. I cried when he held me. I felt just like a real brother. I stumbled over my words trying to explain but I barely could talk.

School couldn't come at a worse time. I sat in Chemistry just trying to block the whole world out and I failing. Lucky me I had to go do schedule and I know of an angel that happens to sit in the career center. I wrapped my arms around her and if a single sniffle she know something was wrong. She held me tight and tried so hard to fix my broken heart. Leaving I saw Max and wanted to break down again because there she stood with a gift. Pictures of us and lyrics from the songs of love. I suffered through the rest of Chemistry in the back. John checked on me because I knew he didn't know what else to do.

Pre-cal was the most interesting. Before class I saw Jack and he asked for a hug. I warned him I would cry and he said he didn't care. When my breath caught trying not to cry he just pulled me closer to him. I wondered down to English to see Kana hoping maybe I would find some strength in it. I found a little. Coming back to class Blaire saw me and before I even got there she knew something was wrong. I completely fell apart in her arms. I told her what happened and her response made me realize that she would completely understand. "He isn't worth your tears, babe." "I know but..." "I know to you he is still worth everything." I just nodded. Turner asked if I was okay and I lied saying I was fine but the tears just kept coming. He walked to my desk and asked if coffee would make me feel better. I laughed and after a little arguing agreed.

I managed to stay distracted for most of the day till after dance hit and it hit hard. I ran to Max just praying not to be dropped. And of course she caught me so carefully. I cried my whole heart out and she managed to make sense of my problems better than me. I'm not even crying over just being hurt but because you always seem to attack the only insecurity I have left. You could call me ugly, tell me I'm a horrible dancer, whatever you want. But you always seem to attack my fear of people leaving. Fear of letting people close, letting them say I love you only for them to run out of your life.
"I wanna go back to 9th grade when I was really happy. No you weren't happy then."
"For you, I would deal with all that pain and problems again just to see you smiling."
I'm glad to know someone still fights so hard for my smile.

I miss having someone to curl into their arms and cry. I miss not having to ask for someone to be there but for them to know. I hate not being able to trust Del because he has said everything you have and now I'm just waiting for him to leave me too. I hate feeling. Max forced me to call him. And with my broken heart I asked so kindly for a listening ear. Of course he made it seem so much easier and without saying it made me realize he was going to stick around for me.
"I'm just afraid you'll stop caring and leave me. Both you and Max will just decide I'm not worth it."
"If I didn't care I would tell you and you know it. Have I said that yet? And it would be you and me that ran away first."

I'm sorry I make him to be so great but he is. Every time my heart is shattered no matter how many times he has heard it he still helps. He picks me up and fixes me the best he can. He refuses to give up on me and I know he loves me and right now thats what I need.

He said those words that make me worries melt and smile take over.
"You'll be okay, I promise."

"Tory the only thing I have ever hear you say is 'He may hurt me, he could tear me apart but I will never say he was a bad boyfriend.'" Max said it and she swears by it. Just ask her if you don't believe me.