"We aren't like him. We can't just make a list and change everything that makes us unhappy. And he'll never get that."
She is right. I can't ever get the strength just to stop everything and change it. So I changed the things that don't really matter. I painted another white wall in my bathroom and just let myself color on it. Whatever pops into my head, I draw. I kinda looks like I smoked something because it's turning out really pyscho but I'm kinda enjoying it.
I have managed to get into three fights with my dad in two days. Sighs. I hate fighting with him but he always has to bring that one subject up that he knows better not to. Before my mind even thinks my heart screams out in defense. I don't think it will ever stop doing that...
Did you know it's only 4 weeks?
Recital is only 4 weeks away and I'm not sure how I feel. I know it's my favorite week even with all the stress and crying and hard work. I get my one chance to show everyone the only thing I can do. The only thing I can't ever mess up. My gift, my talent. I have two little classes who will get on that stage and do a dance I have taught them. And show their parents what they have worked on all year. Yet every time I think about it, I cry. There are only two people in the world that I have to have there. I mean I love having all my friends there. It means so much to see all of you come out. But how do you explain the importance to someone who won't listen? It kills me to think that you won't be there. You won't be proud of me, you won't see me do the only thing I know how. I'm debating how to try explaining. How maybe with the right words you'll understand and be there.
...please be there.
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